As Iran shuts the Strait of Hormuz for the second time in twenty-four hours, local Singaporeans have expressed profound annoyance that their cheap plastic junk might be delayed by another three years.

The Ministry of Trade and Industry has urged citizens to remain calm, though chaos has already erupted at several supermarkets where elderly uncles are currently fist-fighting over the last bottle of cooking oil.

"I don't care about nuclear annihilation or the collapse of Western civilization," said one disgruntled commuter currently waiting for a delayed bus.

"I just want to know if the price of a small kopi-o will hit $14.50 by tomorrow morning."

Economists warn that the fuel shortage will likely result in Singapore Airlines replacing jet fuel with the pure, concentrated sweat of underpaid SME interns.

Meanwhile, the Land Transport Authority has confirmed that even if the world runs out of oil entirely, ERP gantries will continue to function via sheer spite.

Ministerial figures have suggested that if global trade finally dies, Singapore will pivot to its primary natural resource: complaining about the weather on TikTok.

The government is currently considering a new "Global Chaos Surcharge" of 400% on all imported goods to ensure the national reserves remain completely untouched by the suffering of the common man.