Singapore has cracked the code on Gen Z laziness by ensuring their parents suffer catastrophic health failures.

A study reveals that 82% of children are now "parentified," a trendy term for turning minors into unpaid, full-time nursing staff.

"Last time my son only play Mobile Legends, now he wipe my backside and change catheter, so filial leh!" chirped a stroke survivor.

This lifestyle shift allows families to bypass foreign maid levies while providing kids with a "gritty" alternative to school CCAs.

"My friends all go Jewel, but I stay home to carry my father from wheelchair, very 'on' one!" bragged a student.

Authorities are delighted that childhood trauma is finally being harnessed to bolster national productivity.