Following news that the U.S. military is blockading the Strait of Hormuz, Yishun resident Lim Kopi has successfully secured his family's future by filling 82 plastic food containers with 95-octane fuel.

Lim, who identifies as a "tactical kiasu survivalist," told reporters that Minister Shanmugam’s call for readiness was a direct signal to start acting like a complete lunatic at the nearest Shell station.

“The Americans block the oil, then the price go up, then I cannot afford to drive to buy my morning coffee, then how?” Lim shouted while liquid gold sloshed over his bare feet.

“Better I stock up now so I can still drive my car to the market while everyone else is walking like a bunch of losers.”

When reminded that storing highly flammable liquid in airtight containers under his bed was a massive fire hazard, Lim scoffed and called the reporter a “soft, strawberry-brain cibai.”

“If the house burn down, at least it burn down with $100 worth of fuel I bought at a discount,” Lim explained with the logic of a man who has clearly inhaled far too many chemical fumes.

At the same station, a long queue of Mercedes drivers had formed, each attempting to save 12 cents by idling their engines for three hours while waiting for a pump.

A spokesperson for the Home Team stated that while citizens should remain vigilant, they should stop trying to smuggle fuel in recycled FairPrice plastic bags.

“We said ‘stand ready,’ not ‘turn your HDB flat into a fucking improvised explosive device,’” the official added while massaging his temples.

Meanwhile, the rest of the nation expressed grave concern that the blockade might delay their $3 Shopee orders consisting of useless plastic garbage they don’t actually need.

“If my vibrating neck massager doesn't arrive by Friday, I will personally declare war on the US Navy,” said one local office lady.