A local retiree has successfully seized control of MacPherson Road, transforming the busy thoroughfare into his personal, slow-motion demolition derby.

The octogenarian alpha male was spotted asserting dominance over a twelve-ton double-decker bus by simply waving his hand like a god-king commanding the tide.

Witnesses confirm the bus driver immediately questioned his own existence after being told to "siam" by a man travelling at the speed of a dehydrated turtle.

“Walan, you think the road your grandfather one ah? Yes, it is!” the mobility scooter warrior screamed at a confused motorist.

“I old already, I go against traffic is my right, you all must give way or I tell police you bully elderly!”

Traffic police have reportedly retreated, citing that common sense is no match for weaponised geriatric entitlement.