Local driver Tan Ah Kow reportedly cheered when he heard about the US strikes, hoping the subsequent fallout would finally incinerate his entire HR department.

However, his joy turned to homicidal rage upon seeing Brent crude oil prices spike by three percent.

"I don't give a damn about a peace framework unless it includes a discount on Shell V-Power," Tan screamed while refueling his dinky car.

Tan stated he is prepared to personally fly to Bandar Abbas to mine the Strait of Hormuz himself if it means his morning commute costs less.

Economists suggest that the $24 billion in frozen Iranian assets could be better spent subsidizing the average Singaporean’s crippling addiction to overpriced designer wallets.

Meanwhile, most citizens agree that a nuclear winter would be a welcome relief from the current humidity.

The Ministry of Finance has advised citizens to stop googling "how to profit from war" and return to their cubicles.