Local investor Lim Pek has successfully offloaded his entire life savings into a revolutionary "AI-Powered Durian-Coin" venture run from a damp basement in Batam.

Despite the Monetary Authority of Singapore issuing sixteen red alerts, Lim remains confident that the 800% monthly returns are merely a result of superior local mathematics.

“The agent say this one is sure huat, steady pom pi pi one,” Lim explained while refreshing a dead Telegram link.

“He wear gold chain and drive rented Lambo, so must be professional lah, don’t be so kiasu and jealous of my passive income.”

The scheme, which requires members to recruit five "downlines" or "willing sacrifices," has become Singapore’s fastest-growing hobby behind complaining about the humidity.

Authorities noted that Singaporeans find the rush of a total financial wipeout significantly more erotic than the pathetic interest offered by traditional banks.