
Sinkie Who Can’t Name Own MP Celebrates Foreign Actor’s Election
Local fan Delip Saravanan spent yesterday screaming into a pillow after Joseph Vijay secured a political victory in a country Delip hasn’t visited in over a decade.
Delip, who reportedly hasn't looked his own children in the eye recently, claims the millionaire actor becoming a Chief Minister is the greatest achievement of Delip’s own life.
“When Vijay won, it felt like I won,” sobbed the 41-year-old, who earns a mediocre salary while the superstar enjoys a net worth larger than the GDP of some nations.
Despite having zero impact on foreign policy and zero voting rights, Delip celebrated by cutting a cake he bought himself, effectively paying to congratulate a stranger for getting a promotion.
Neighbors report Delip still cannot identify his own Member of Parliament, though he has memorized every frame of the actor’s breakdance sequences.
He remains convinced his parasocial obsession makes him a legitimate political strategist.
This satire is based on a real news story.
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