Local engineer Tan Ah Kow is officially the luckiest lancau in Singapore after winning an original Picasso painting worth $1.5 million for the price of a few boxes of masks.

The charity raffle, which raised funds for Alzheimer’s research, left Tan confused as he originally thought he was signing up for a lucky draw to win a new Mercedes.

“When the ang mo called me to say I won a Picasso, I told him to go fly kite because I thought it was those insurance scammers again,” Tan said while squinting at the million-dollar canvas that resembles a printer jam.

Upon receiving the masterpiece, titled ‘Tête de femme’, Tan expressed immediate frustration that the woman in the painting looks like she was hit by a double-decker bus.

“I paid $150 for this cock-looking drawing? My five-year-old nephew can draw better during his nap time,” Tan complained while looking for a receipt to do a 1-for-1 exchange at the auction house.

Organisers noted that the €12 million raised will go toward Alzheimer’s research, which is appropriate because you’d have to completely lose your fucking mind to pay seven figures for a grey smudge.

Tan has reportedly contacted several local karung guni men to see if the canvas has any resale value, only to be told that the material is too rough to be used as high-grade toilet paper.

“For $1.5 million, I could have bought enough cai fan to feed three generations of my family until we all die of heart disease,” Tan muttered while poking the canvas to see if the paint was still wet.

The Picasso family remains delighted with the raffle’s success, unaware that Tan is currently using the back of the million-dollar masterpiece to tally his 4D spending for the month.

“The only good part is the frame,” Tan admitted, “it’s thick enough to hold my wet towels during the monsoon season when the dryer breaks down.”

The head of the Alzheimer’s Foundation called the win a "building block" for a cure, while Tan called it a "fucking piece of wood" that doesn't even come with a warranty.

Tan is now considering listing the painting on Carousell for $50 and a pack of AA batteries, provided the buyer self-collects from his void deck.