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Singapore Slurp: Sinkies Baffled Actor Prefers War Zone Over Free Buffet
singapore news

Sinkies Baffled Actor Prefers War Zone Over Free Buffet

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Alex Wong
Wednesday 18th March 2026 @ 08:09 SST
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While the international community faints over the Hollywood actor’s courageous trek to Kyiv, Sinkies are deeply disturbed by his blatant disregard for complimentary catering.

The Oscar winner reportedly snubbed a five-star gala and unlimited top-shelf liquor to meet a foreign president in a city currently doubling as a debris field.

Local observers are struggling to understand why any sane individual would trade a climate-controlled hall for a place where the only thing being served is ballistic trauma.

“Aiyoh, this fellow brain rot is it?” asked one local office worker.

“Award show got free gift bag and lobster, he go there for what? Can claim transport meh? So high SES but act like low-SES hero, make me headache only lah!”

The actor remains at the front, failing the ultimate Singaporean efficiency audit.

This satire is based on a real news story.

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