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Singapore Slurp: Sinkies Buy $300 Sneakers To Comfortably Jog Towards Total Burnout
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Sinkies Buy $300 Sneakers To Comfortably Jog Towards Total Burnout

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David Cheong
Monday 16th March 2026 @ 08:09 SST
ðŸĪŠ549

Singaporean women are flocking to buy "office-appropriate" sneakers, finally acknowledging that their professional lives are a relentless sprint towards a shallow grave.

These $300 leather trampolines are designed to help corporate slaves flee Raffles Place before the existential dread of another 14-hour shift becomes sentient.

Style consultants claim these shoes "balance the fine line" between high-end fashion and the desperate need to outrun a LinkedIn notification.

"Wah lau, heels make me wanna die, now I wear these and can OT until midnight and still look 'slay' mah," said one Administrative Assistant.

"If I going to be a corporate slave, at least my footwear got Gore-Tex for my tears lor."

It is the perfect footwear for sprinting towards a mid-life crisis.

This satire is based on a real news story.

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