The Ministry of Defence has finally streamlined the process for masochistic Sinkies to get yelled at for zero dollars an hour.

By centralising all volunteer schemes, the government ensures no citizen goes unmonitored while "voluntarily" pretending to be a soldier on their only day off.

“We wanted to ensure women and PRs could also enjoy the unique thrill of heatstroke and identity loss,” stated a spokesperson while polishing a heavy clipboard.

New roles like ‘Total Defence Champion’ will allow bored aunties to professionally kaypoh their neighbours under the guise of national security.

The network aims to ‘match skills,’ meaning high-flying corporate executives will likely spend their weekends clearing weeds at a Bedok live-firing range.

National Education Ambassadors will be deployed to schools to ensure no student ever experiences a single moment of un-curated, patriotic joy.

Ultimately, the state plans to manage your entire ‘life cycle,’ ensuring your soul belongs to MINDEF from puberty until the crematorium.