Two Singaporean hikers have successfully secured the ultimate property hack: a permanent home with a crater view that requires zero balloting.

Ignoring the “no-go zone” signs like they ignore the “no smoking” stickers at void decks, the pair proved that a red passport provides immunity to both Indonesian law and basic physics.

They are currently undergoing a 3,000-degree exfoliating treatment that has left them looking remarkably similar to a high-end charcoal mask.

Rescuers noted that while everyone else ran away from the molten death, our local legends stayed behind, likely trying to get the perfect lighting for a “POV: Dying in a Volcano” TikTok.

At least they died doing what every true Singaporean loves: assuming the rules don't apply to them because they paid for the flight.

Indonesian authorities have confirmed the two are now permanent residents of the mountain, finally solving their personal housing crisis.