A Jurong West coffee shop has been officially reclassified as a high-octane gladiatorial arena following a seating dispute that turned into a weaponised buffet.

The skirmish began when a sixty-year-old customer, evidently mistaking the Nasi Padang stall for a slap-boxing tournament, struck a female employee.

Undeterred, the worker demonstrated her world-class ballistic capabilities by launching a cutlery tray and an ice box lid with the lethal precision of a frisbee professional.

"Wah lau, the auntie throw the tray like Captain America shield, sia!" one witness shouted.

"Uncle go and slap her, then suddenly he kena aim by fifty flying forks!"

Police eventually intervened, arresting both seniors before they could progress the match to the 'scalding gravy' round.