The news of North Korea’s burgeoning "fake beard" industry has sent shockwaves through the local business community.

As Beijing pours billions into the hermit kingdom, local entrepreneurs are frantically wondering how to compete with workers who are paid in literal grass and loyalty.

One local trade consultant expressed grave concerns about the strategic implications of a North Korean wig-based economy.

"Wah lau, how to fight like that?" asked a disgruntled local beard-oil startup founder.

"Their cost of production is basically zero because the workers don't need things like 'human rights' or 'lunch breaks' leh."

Authorities are reportedly monitoring the situation, fearful that the Supreme Leader might pivot from nuclear warheads to cornering the global market for synthetic toupees.