The nation is transitioning into a dystopian paradise where citizens must worship empty bottles with more dignity than their own relatives.

A recycling firm is deploying 380 machines that function as mechanical gods designed to humiliate anyone possessing a slightly dented soda can.

The firm's CEO advised extreme patience, as the sensors are currently programmed to be more temperamental than an auntie at a buffet.

“Wah lao, I scrub this bottle until so shiny, but the machine still spit back,” complained one sweaty retiree.

“Now I stand here like bodoh for ten cents, cannot even buy one tissue paper ah!”

Authorities hope the scheme will lower contamination rates by making the entire population go insane.