In a move that truly cements Singapore’s status as a global intellectual powerhouse, a prominent influencer boss has been tapped to lead a joint team in the inaugural global live-selling championship.

The competition involves influencers from eight countries screaming “limited time offer” at a ring light until their retinas burn, all for a chance to win US$500,000.

The influencer boss will be joined by his content creator wife, proving that the family that shills together, stays together in the lucrative world of professional digital begging.

“Walau, this is the real national service sia,” remarked one local fan while clutching a discounted air fryer.

“Last time our ancestors sell ikan bilis at market, now we do it on TikTok with filter—more high-SES!”