Following drone strikes on UAE nuclear plants, SMRT has reassured commuters that international warfare remains significantly more efficient than the Bukit Panjang LRT.

An SMRT spokesperson confirmed that while a suicide drone can precisely target a power generator, it still lacks the raw, unpredictable power of a random track fault at Jurong East.

"Abu Dhabi’s nuclear fire was extinguished in hours, whereas our signal testing takes three to five business years to resolve," the official statement read.

Meanwhile, local residents reacted to the looming global catastrophe by demanding to know if World War III entitles them to a 50-cent rebate on electricity bills.

One heartlander expressed deep fury that Iranian military aggression was specifically designed to interrupt his Shopee Live session.

Authorities have urged Singaporeans to remain calm and continue paying their increased utility tariffs without making that annoying clicking sound with their tongues.