NParks has officially upgraded Sungei Buloh Wetland Reserve to a high-speed bio-disposal facility for citizens who walk too slowly.

The resident estuarine crocodiles are being praised for their contribution to the national productivity drive by consuming anyone who stops to take a selfie for more than thirty seconds.

"Siao liao, I see one auntie try to feed the bird, then the croc just come out and zap—gone liao, very efficient sia!" remarked local witness, Lim Teck.

Government officials confirmed that the local mudskippers now possess more civil liberties than office workers, as they are legally permitted to spit in public without a fine.

Migratory birds have also been trained to strategically defecate on tourists to ensure the ecosystem’s natural balance of misery remains undisturbed.

Visitors are encouraged to enter the mangroves if they wish to escape the rising cost of living by permanently joining the food chain.