The Singapore Food Agency has issued a frantic recall for Uncle Yiannis’ Baby Gherkins after discovering the tiny cucumbers were spiked with enough undeclared sulphur dioxide to bleach a coral reef.

The importer, a local Greek restaurant executive, apparently mistook "food preservation" for "chemical assassination," leaving high-society foodies with a festive bouquet of hives and chronic diarrhoea.

Sinkies who paid premium prices for these "artisanal" pickles are now discovering the hard way that "imported from Greece" is actually ancient code for "your colon is about to explode."

“I thought the pickles quite posh one, but after three pieces my stomach like World War III start already, confirm must laosai until next year,” complained one traumatised finance bro.

SFA advises citizens to bin the jars immediately unless they enjoy projectile vomiting for brunch.