Donald Trump has assured the world that Iran "wants to work a deal," right after he parked enough warships in the Strait of Hormuz to make the water look like a crowded Jurong East MRT platform.

Back in Singapore, Minister K. Shanmugam has warned the Home Team to stay ready, which is government code for telling ordinary Sinkies to prepare for an energy bill that looks like the GDP of a small Pacific nation.

The Ministry of Trade and Industry is expected to release a new "Stay Gold" campaign, encouraging citizens to find the "silver lining" in an oil crisis that makes a $4.50 cai fan look like a Michelin-star degustation menu.

"Walau eh, if the Americans and Iranians want to play touch-ball in the ocean, why must my electricity bill kena fuck so hard?" complained one resident who has already started bathing in the void deck rain to save cents.

Experts suggest that the impending energy shortage will be so severe that the government might actually ask people to stop charging their phones and start talking to their families, a move that could lead to a 400% increase in domestic violence.

Trump, speaking from the White House, claimed that the blockade is "impartial and beautiful," much like a Singaporean auntie deciding which of her nieces is the fattest during a family gathering.

As oil prices hit US$99 a barrel, Singaporeans are being reminded that "Total Defence" now includes the ability to cook a chicken wing using nothing but the friction from an intense argument on HardwareZone.

"It’s a great deal, the best deal," Trump tweeted, while a US destroyer reportedly mistook a drifting IKEA catalogue for an Iranian fast-attack vessel and opened fire.

Authorities have urged the public not to panic, though they did suggest that if you can't afford to turn on the lights, you should just stare at your own bright future until the war ends.

Kanina, at this rate, the only thing "liquid" left in the Singapore economy will be the cold sweat of every middle-aged father looking at his monthly utility dashboard.