As Donald Trump warns that Iran will soon be as empty as a Jurong West hawker centre at 3 AM, local bargain hunters are already camping outside for the world’s most explosive liquidation sale.

The President’s promise that there will be "nothing left" has resonated with kiasu Singaporeans, who are eager to see if total annihilation includes 1-for-1 discounts on crude oil and radioactive scrap metal.

"If he's going to wipe them off the map, I just hope I can snag a cheap holiday before the runway becomes a smoking crater," said one local auntie.

The Ministry of Trade is reportedly scouting for warehouse space to store the remaining dust, while influencers plan "scorched earth" aesthetic shoots at the Strait of Hormuz before it is paved over for a new golf course.

Trump’s negotiation style, which mirrors a Sheng Siong manager during a blackout, has been widely praised for its efficiency in clearing unwanted inventory.