The Land Transport Authority has officially designated the Pulau Ubin bumboat fleet as Singapore's premier carbon-monoxide-themed water park.

For four dollars, commuters enjoy the thrill of inhaling pure diesel fumes while praying the rotting wood defies physics.

Uncle Tan, a boatman who hasn't seen a safety manual since the British left, insists on strict passenger quotas.

"You want go or not? One more person then can go, if we sink also must wait for full house lah!"

Passengers are reminded that the crusty life jackets are strictly decorative and likely manufactured in 1974.

Experts suggest the oily sludge in the hull provides more structural integrity than the actual rusted engine.

"Don't scared leh, the oily water make the boat slide faster one, confirm plus chop!"