The Philippine government has heroically rejected a US proposal to turn a massive chunk of Luzon into a lawless American playground for semiconductor nerds.

State Department officials reportedly asked if the "Pax Silica" hub could include diplomatic immunity for CEOs to commit light manslaughter while manufacturing AI chips.

"We are happy to take your money, but we draw the line at letting your interns ignore our traffic laws," said one Philippine official while checking his bank balance.

Washington expressed genuine bewilderment that a sovereign nation would refuse the prestigious opportunity to become a corporate colony for Nvidia’s supply chain.

US Undersecretary Jacob Helberg warned of a "hostage chain," apparently referring to the tragic lack of American police allowed to pepper-spray local union leaders.

Meanwhile, local activists remain concerned that the only "green tech" being developed is the specialized software used to launder US investment funds into private offshore accounts.