Russia and China just cockblocked the UN resolution to protect the Strait of Hormuz, because why solve a crisis when you can just watch the world burn?

Foreign Minister Vivian Balakrishnan immediately flexed his big-brain energy by declaring Singapore will not negotiate for safe passage, because "principles" are apparently more delicious than actual food.

"Negotiating is for sinkie pussies who care about cost of living," a spokesperson didn't say, but definitely thought.

While Trump predicts the death of civilization, Gan Kim Yong is ready to save us with some pathetic U-Save rebates.

Don't worry about the $1,000 electricity bill, lah.

Just stare at a photo of the Parliament House and feel the "sovereignty" warming your cold, dark flat.