NParks has officially surrendered to the porcine invasion, rebranding wild boars as "Enhanced Citizens" to combat the city's crippling loneliness.

The hairy intruders have shown remarkable initiative by terrorising joggers and claiming prime real estate in Bukit Timah without paying a single cent in stamp duty.

"Eh, last time the pig only eat grass, now he standing in queue for 4D and staring at my wife," complained local resident, Lim Teck Hua.

Officials claim the boars are more productive than most office workers, as they actually spend their entire day outside instead of pretending to work in a cubicle.

"I see the boar yesterday, he so big and steady, I think he can be my MP better than the human one," remarked a Pasir Ris resident while offering the beast a durian.

The government plans to arm these tusker-citizens with body-worn cameras to fine anyone caught littering or walking too slowly in MRT stations.